Fushigi: The Universe of Four Gods Parody
by Nakoruru-1
Summary: The story of Fushigi Yugi takes a strange and unusual turn when two fan fiction writers get their hands on the Universe of Four Gods.


Chapter 1: The Young Lady . . .um Ladies of Legend  
  
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Narrator: Hi. I'm the narrator. And this is Fushigi Yugi in the weirdest version the writers of this could think of. Their names are Nakoruru and Rinka. This is chapter one and this is the fun they would have in the Universe of the Four Gods. Enjoy!  
  
Once, there were two young ladies who were high school seniors readying to graduate soon. Actually, they are college freshmen, but for the purpose of this story, they'll be in high school. Makes things more fun.  
  
Nakoruru (pops in): Hi. The name's Nakoruru! I currently speak Spanish, English, and Japanese! All I wanna do is have some fun, someone tell me I'm not the only one!  
  
Rinka (pops in shaking head): That is just sad. The name's Rinka. That's for all the bishonen out there. (Nakoruru makes a face) Hey! What's that for!  
  
Nakoruru: Take your pick up lines elsewhere. We have to get this started.  
  
Rinka: So says the crazy anime fan girl!  
  
Nakoruru (insulted): I'm not crazy! I'm just hyper.  
  
Rinka: Uh-huh. So now we just pretend you didn't escape from the mental institution.  
  
Nakoruru (growls): Want a piece of me.  
  
Narrator (sweatdrop): This is ridiculous. Let's get this started before they start a war.  
  
Well . . .(sweatdrop) . . .now that you've met the heroines, let's get started. One day, Rin-chan and Koru-chan were in the school library looking up several things for class. Really, Rinka was looking up the material and Nakoruru was goofing around. Rinka's brow begun twitching as Nakoruru started drawing the attention of many.  
  
"Um, Ru. Don't you think you should stop?" inquired Rinka.  
  
"Huh?" Nakoruru blinked and stopped jumping around much to Rinka's relief. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Ever thought people might stare?"  
  
"Oh. Really" *She's being really a ditz, let's not mind the ditz* Nakoruru ran to the other side of the library where they kept some really old books on myths, legends, and fantasy.  
  
Nakoruru: When do I get into the book? I wanna go into the book.  
  
Narrator: Hold on. You need to be patient.  
  
Nakoruru: It's boring being patient. (taking over story) So, the beautiful Nakoruru starts browsing books, when her eyes catch a black bound book glowing red. Nako-chan doesn't know what to make out of it, and wonders if she really was crazy, but we know she isn't. But she needed something to do and hey, what could it hurt checking it out. (grinning) See much better.  
  
Narrator: Well. . .alright.  
  
"Hey, Rinka. Come over here. I found something way weird. There's a book over here glowing. I think I'm crazy, but I'm really not. Come here. Come on." Nakoruru waved her friend over. Rinka sighed, and walked over.  
  
"What's with all the noi-" Rinka stopped once she saw the glowing book. "Um. . .the heck!"  
  
"Don't know, let's find out!" Before Rinka could tell her friend to wait, Nakoruru picked up the book and opened it. "Wow, Japanese! I can't find too many books like this around. All I ever find are mangas."  
  
Nakoruru (popping up again): For the sake of continuing, I want you guys to know that yes, I do speak a little Japanese in actuality. Not enough to read all that kanji, but we can wing it.  
  
Tamahome (popping in with funny look on face): Aren't you self-serving?  
  
Nakoruru: We have to, Tama-baby. I'm not Miaka so I can get away with this stuff.  
  
Nuriko (popping in too): And she's the writer anyway. She can do that sort of stuff.  
  
Narrator (brow twitches): Will you all go! The story hasn't gotten underway. Tamahome, Nuriko, you especially! Go, go, go, go!  
  
Tamahome and Nuriko (indignantly): Fine! We're going! (pops out)  
  
Narrator (clearing throat): Now. Where were we? Ah, yes. Rinka and Nakoruru started looking into the book.  
  
"What does it say, Nakoruru?" inquired Rinka.  
  
"Well, it says. Here in contains the tale of a young lady and her quest to gather the seven Constellations of Suzaku together. And if you, the esteemed reader, should read to the story's end, the spell contained within this book shall bestow upon you the powers of the heroine, and grant you your wish. For indeed, the moment the page is turned, the story will become reality."  
  
"What's a Zasaku? It's a car isn't it?" blinked Rinka. "Or maybe a motorcycle?"  
  
"I think it's Suzaku. It's suppose to be a phoenix," answered Nakoruru. "How about we find out? Let's see what happens when we turn the page. Wanna go on an adventure!"  
  
Nakoruru *yet again*: The two heroines turn the page and are engulfed in bright light. They find that they are too shocked to move as they are transported. Soon they find themselves transferred to some weird place.  
  
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto." Rinka turned to look at her friend with a strange expression.  
  
"For starters, don't call me Toto. Secondly, this ain't that story. Thirdly, I don't see a yellow brick road and everything isn't in that loud technicolor scheme."  
  
"Hey. I start seeing two foot tall people and I'm starting to sing "we represent the lollipop guild" and I ain't stopping." Nakoruru was about to run ahead to catch a look at the scenery, when she heard a startled squeak from Rinka. Turning around, she saw a group of burly men.  
  
"Look what we have here. Two young maids," one of the men said. "I wonder how much we'll receive for them."  
  
Nakoruru (popping back up): For all of you to know, I've studied with Spike Spiegel! (starts singing) I know Jeet Kune Do! I know Jeet Kune Do! I know Jeet Kune Do!  
  
Tamahome: Self serving again. Do you ever give up?  
  
Nakoruru: Not all self-serving. (winks) I didn't say I was packing a rocket or linear launcher.  
  
Tasuki: Noble eh.  
  
Narrator (brow twitching again): Can we get on with it already?!  
  
Nakoruru, Tamahome, and Tasuki: Gomen nasai!  
  
Narrator: Thank you. (pause) So. The men are about ready to close in on the two when Nakoruru begins to laugh.  
  
"What's so funny, wench," yelled one of the men.  
  
"Watch your language!" Nakoruru pulled out a harisen and whacked the man over the head. "I have no patience for such things." Nakoruru blinks then makes an O with her mouth and placed her forefinger to it. (Like a lot of anime characters do.) Her eyes look at the sky as she starts thinking. "What am I talking about? Things? What things?"  
  
"Stop trying to figure it out. I need some help here!" Rinka yelled as the men tried to drag her away.  
  
"But what things. Do you know?" Nakoruru felt herself picked up by one of the men. "Hey, I'm thinking here. Put me down." She smacked the man on the head. The man's head tilted to the side as he set her down. "Thanks. Now the things."  
  
"Forget the idea. I am being carted away, Ru!" yelled Rinka as the men dragged her away slowly, due to her kicking and screaming.  
  
"But the things." Nakoruru's face scrunched up as big teardrops appeared in the corner of her eyes.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry. The things are rudeness and not having your friends carted away to slave trade!" Rinka yelled desperately. Nakoruru brought the answer and smiled.  
  
"Yeah." The girl took a strange stance with her hands out stretched. "Think you can get away with carting off my friends. No way! I'm Sailor Nakoruru! The champion of manga and anime! In the name of otaku, I shall punish you!"  
  
Everything was silent as the men stared at the strange girl. Rinka's brow begun to twitch, finally she broke out in a super-deformed mode. "Did I ask you for the Sailor Moon routine. You-you baka! Baka, baka, baka!"  
  
"Oh, sorry! I was happy!" laughed Nakoruru.  
  
Tamahome (popping back in): That was pointless. Let's get to me. (taking over story) So the men get over their shock of the stupid *gets hit with harisen by Nakoruru* I mean strange girl and continues to drag away the other girl.  
  
"Hey, I don't think that's fair. Maybe we should even up the odds."  
  
"Who's that?" yelled one of the men. They turn around to find a tall young man with blue hair.  
  
Tamahome *just won't go*: The male was just super foxy. He was strong and courageous. Able to get any woman he wanted. Cunning and clever and the best fighter in all of Japan and China. The young girls immediately. . .  
  
Rinka and Nakoruru (giving him a classic anime look): Now who's self- serving?  
  
Tamahome (points to Nakoruru): If she can, so can I. She can't be the only one to be able to do it.  
  
Narrator (glowering at them): Do you think we should continue?  
  
Tamahome, Rinka, and Nakoruru (grinning): Sure, let's go.  
  
Narrator (leaving): I quit. Tell your own story. (slams door behind self)  
  
Rinka, Tamahome, and Nakoruru (looking at each other): Now who's going to tell the story?  
  
Narrator #2 (coming in): I was sent to pick up. Everyone in role. The two girls were both surprised at how handsome the young man was. (Tamahome gives the V sign before leaving)  
  
"Picking on girls. How low is that?" The male said. "Let's see how well you do against someone who can fight back!"  
  
"Yeah! Like me!" Nakoruru rushed at the men and side kicked on of the men in the head. The guy who was suppose to be their savor, watched wide eyed as the girl kicked some major booty.  
  
Tamahome: What's my purpose there? I'm suppose to be saving you!  
  
Nakoruru (grinning like the Cheshire Cat): That's what ya get for being self-serving.  
  
Narrator #2 (snapping whip): Will I have to do this the hard way?  
  
Tamahome and Nakoruru (O_O;;): IYA! Gomen! (runs out door)  
  
Once the men are all defeated and Rinka is freed finally, they stare at the male. The strange one with the weird character on his forehead.  
  
"Tamahome. The Oni constellation," said Nakoruru. "Why'd you paint that on your head?"  
  
"What's an onu?" blinked Rinka.  
  
"Oni," corrected Nakoruru. "For someone who's so smart, you're really dim sometimes."  
  
"I don't study Japanese remember," reminded Rinka. Nakoruru blinked then grinned. She hit herself in the head with a folding fan she mysteriously got out of then air.  
  
"Oh, yeah. That's why you're always asking me stuff. Sorry." The two turn back to the male staring at them.  
  
"The name's Tamahome. Which is the symbol on my head. But besides that, think you can pay me for my services of saving you. Money would be very nice right now."  
  
"You ain't getting no money out of me, jerk. And what services anyway," Rinka shouted.  
  
"I only have enough money for the new X/1999 volumes. Giving you money would hamper me. Anyway, I did all the work. You just sat there," Nakoruru pointed out.  
  
"Well, maybe. And maybe I was moral support. You have to look at it from my point of view," grinned Tamahome.  
  
"Idiot. Why don't you go somewhere you money hunger, egotistical (yet extremely sexy looking) miser. Like space!" Nakoruru in a fit of anger, uppercut the man with the oni symbol on his forehead into outerspace.  
  
"Hey, what's an oni?" Rinka asked yet again.  
  
"Don't worry about that. Question is how are we going to get back home. There's no Suncoast, bookstore, and no music store. I can over look food for a time, but I can't deal with the lack of mangas and anime!" Nakoruru began running around flailing her arms in a complete super deformed anime moment.  
  
"No food. No way. No music, no snacks, no game system. That can't be. It just can't!"  
  
Tamahome: You idiots. What about clothing and the essentials in life? Video games? Music? How is that going to help?  
  
Rinka (popping in): Those are very important.  
  
Nakoruru (clenching fists): Yeah! Do you know how cranky I get without hearing Hoobastank and Matchbox Twenty in a few days? Not to mention Good Charlotte and Cheville. (bursts into flames)  
  
Tamahome (backing away): Okay.  
  
Narrator #2 (shifting glare to us): Just as the two girls were about to build a ship to go back after Tamahome, a bright light surrounded them and they found themselves back in the library.  
  
"Well. That was certainly interesting," blinked Rinka.  
  
"Let's go back soon. That will give me time to buy supplies for our trip back," Nakoruru said with the V symbol.  
  
"Food, music, soap!" Rinka joined in.  
  
"Anime, manga, video games, sugar, and batteries!"  
  
Narrator #2: And so begins their journey into the Universe of Four Gods. Plenty of action and comedy ahead for these two young girls. But can they overcome the perils that lie ahead?  
  
Nakoruru (shouting excitedly): Heck yeah. Just wait til the next chapter to find out what happens. The second chapter of Fushigi: The Universe of Four Gods coming this May.  
  
Tamahome: May?  
  
Nuriko: May? Why, May?  
  
Rinka: Yeah.  
  
Nakoruru (grinning): Just a saying. Actually, the next one will probably be in another few days.  
  
Hotohori: So, we will not have to wait.  
  
Nakoruru: Um, yeah. Okay. Fushigi will return!  
  
Everyone: Yeah! 


End file.
